Dating at 52...

Dating at 52 and after Divorce is, hmmm, how can I put this nicely....? A colossal cluster and a lot of work. The dating pool is basically a puddle from the age range of 46-60. That's my age range on Match.com. I was also on the "Hinge" app for a bit. There are some very interesting men on this app. Some look like serial killers, some dudes look like players, some look like they just crawled out from under a rock and yes, there are some that seem nice. It's a free app, so as the old saying goes, you definietely get what you pay for. I dropped that app quickly after one date. It was one and done. I was a newbie to the online dating scene, which it's on sub-culture. Took some getting used to.

Now I'm entirely focusing on me, my company and I put myself on Match.com, which I'm sure you know, is a paying dating service. There are some of the usual suspects on Match.com that were on the Hinge.com service, but the range of characters is broader. You can be more specific in your wants and must haves in your search.

Here's what I've found; some guys spend money on you, some guys don't even take you out and just want to do free shit, some guys are complete gentlemen, some guys are creepy, some guys are kind, some guys just want to squeeze the dinner they just bought out of you- this is why I always offer to pay my way, ALWAYS. Another good tip is always take your own car or an Uber- but a car is better, so you can leave at any time, make a quick get-away. I made a rookie move on my first date and let the dude get in my car since he parked so far away. This gave him an opening to go in for a big fat kiss. Giant Gene Simmons tongue and all.

Man, I used to be smooth back in my 20s and 30s. Nothing rattled me. Now, I'm getting back into the swing of things at 52. Since having been through the wars with this divorce and dealing with bullies in all shapes and sizes, I'm tough as nails and nothing rattles me now.

My friend views dating like a sport. She is so practiced and smooth, she has a specific hangout where she takes her unsuspecting dates. If it's not going well she can exit stage left and drive 2 minutes to her pad and safety. I've had numerous dates. The first one was a nice enough fellow, bought me dinner and drinks, which I offered to split, but I didn't see the commomality after the first date, so I said that a second date would be a no go. We had golf in common. Look, I like golf, it's fun, but I don't jones for it on a daily basis. I told him I'm a water girl. I love water skiing, boating and he said "I couldn't think of anything worse than being stuck on a boat at noon and not knowing when I'm going to get to dry land. I said "I can't think of anything better."

Some guys are know-it-alls, they argue, then I disagree with them stating my views, then they're like "Whoa, you're opinionated and stubborn." And of course, they're not. Such a huge double standard. If you go out with me, I'm going to be myself 100%, no BS, no fake anything. I'm going to speak my mind, use my quick whit and humor to lighten the tense mood and break the ice.

These apps are a strange way to meet someone, but useful. Match.com seems to be more effective for weeding out the swamp. Now I know how Trump feels. Hinge.com is free and like I said, the cast of characters must be taken into consideration, so do your research prior to taking any dates. It's almost like it's a hook up app. Not my type of dating service. Match.com is more thorough, they dig deeper into finding commonality on values, morals, religious beliefs, upbringing, etc. All the things that you find out on the first date. Sometimes, just reading their profiles and seeing their pictures solidifies the connection or the disconnect. I'm a huge believer in meeting someone organically. But now that I'm 52, single and in the middle of a Pandemic- COVID- it's tough to meet someone organically with a mask on. It's also tough to find someone with my similar values and upbringing, since I was brought up in the Mid-West in a large Catholic family, with 4 girls and parents who were very supportive, married forever, loyal, caring, loving, in love and a very tight knit family. Now I'm living on the East Coast and you do find people with similar values, morals and upbringing, but with different views, education, life experiences, etc. I also find there are many men (not all) with agendas. They want to date you because they want something from you; SEX, $$$, a Mother, to control you, boss you around or use your connections, but it's mostly for SEX. These men like to control women, of course not all men are after sex, but seems like these type of men like to USURP their power over you. Which is a NO GO for me. The minute a man starts to criticize you are make unsolicited comments about you, BIG RED FLAG. Put on your Nikes on and RUN. No one has a right to criticize your hair, what you wear, what color you wear, what you eat, who you are and what you believe. If they make one derogatory comment, push back right away in the moment and run. Delete those AHs right away. They should be complimenting you, not tearing you down. If they correct you, argue with you, mansplain shit to you, talk down to you, thrust their opinions on you, overtalk you, boss you around, tell you what to do and how to do it, constantly prove you wrong, then tell them to fuck off and delete them. You were fine without them your whole life. You don't need that shit in your life, you're better off alone with your vibrator!

Find a guy who is honored to be with you, loves everything about you and lets you be you.

I'll let you know if I run into one in my Match.com dating endeavors.